No More Yelling Day #2

Wow, so I feared that today would be another rough one. Fortunately, for me...It has been alright. I am not exactly sure that my goal of being refined is being accomplished through an "easier" day however. Even though I was not tempted to yell often, I have been learning!

A few thoughts for today. Since things were less overtly challenging, I had some moments to reflect on how freeing the thought of quitting my yelling habit could be! I mean people think of quitting smoking or chewing tobacco to be freeing, so why can't I be free of my "dirty" habit? I certainly don't want to keep it around! Anyhow, I thought of how much more calm I feel since I am deliberately expecting to not yell when an "I want to yell" event occurs.

*** My one little slip up. ***

So, I thought I was doing well until about 7:30. Here is the scene: My 11 month old baby gagged on a burp and threw up on the carpet. My husband was in the middle of cleaning up another mess, so I grabbed the baby even though I had been putting the 5 year old to bed. (She is asking from her bed, "mommy when are you coming??"...enter desire to use my elevated volume--acceptable...with my not so patient tone--not acceptable. My 3 year old was told to sit with the 6 year old. Instead, he runs straight toward the puke!!! *enter yelling*. Here is the good news. I only yelled one word and stopped myself. I cleaned up the 11 month old and 3 year old while my husband cleaned up the floor. AND...we all survived. 

Did I need to yell? Probably not!! It was not a life threatening emergency. The three year old had a natural consequence of having to change out of some favorite socks. The 3 year old apologized for not listening without prompting (or getting upset). All in all, I think I am counting it as a win for us!

Tomorrow is Friday. I want to have all of my house in order so I can enjoy the weekend. I often get more frustrated than necessary on Fridays. Since I know this going in, I am asking God for the energy to do what is best. I am growing, slowly. I am learning, slowly. At least, for now, we are moving in the right direction!

No More Yelling Day #1

This blog is more for me than anyone else, but I do need to share that I really want to become a better person. Lots of people seem to "think" I am great, but the truth is that I really struggle with a ton of things. It is not that I don't want people to think I am wonderful because, let's face it, I am a people pleaser. The truth is, however, that I can be impatient, selfish, and I often lack the grace I am so incredibly thankful for when I receive it!

So, here is where I am now. I did not grow up participating in lent, but it has always piqued my interest.  In the last few years, I have been deliberate in trying to encourage those around me during the Lenten season. This year, I felt very compelled to continue that, but to more specifically work on avoiding yelling. I am good at yelling and it is NOT something I am proud of. We are a naturally loud family, so I am not talking about the volume of my voice...I am talking about the tone and nature in which I address my kids. I get frustrated, I want them to know it, so I yell. It is AWFUL. Not only is it awful, it is something that I believe is dishonoring to God. It is a way that I dishonor God weekly, if not daily. I need to work on it.

So here I am, DAY 1. And...WHAT A DAY IT WAS! I have a list to share, not to complain, but to remind myself that this is not an easy task and that I need to "put my money where my mouth is".  I need to look at the big picture!

1. I had several students who "shut down" in my classroom, for a variety of reasons and in a variety of ways, compromising not only their learning, but safety as well. Most revolved around not wanting to tell the truth. I needed them to tell the truth because, as I tell them regularly, honesty is the most important thing to me and it is what I most want from them! Authority....you know...I am in charge and they need to get it=desire to yell! So, it was exhausting, but we made it. Several heartfelt phone calls and emails later and I know exactly why God does not want me yelling. 

You would think I had learned my lesson. NOPE!

2. I arrive home to find that the laundry was not done in the way I had asked. A simple task...finish drying the laundry, so it doesn't smell musty. So, I have to re-wash.

(Nevermind the fact that there are 4 children (6 and under), 2 of which are fevered and the other 2 who are getting less than enough attention due to the others being sick. Oh, and the fact that my AWESOME husband already took the week off of work to care for the ill children, knowing that this is quite possibly the worst week for me to miss work=confirmation of just how selfish and petty I can be.)

Again, you would think I had learned my lesson. NOPE!

3. Our toilet was clogged and my husband offered to fix it, so I could eat with the kids. IT BEGAN TO OVERFLOW...DIRTY, CLOGGED, OVERFLOWING TOILET IN A SICK HOUSE...ENTER desire for YELLING. It resulted in a VERY CLEAN and sanitized bathroom. In the end, not worth yelling and stressing everyone out.

So, I learned, right? NOPE!

4. 3 year old's diaper is "checked", so he can go into the bathroom on his own. I hear, "Mommy, I really have a big dirty poop. Pwease help me!" Enter desire to yell at the "checker". The 3 year old is embarrassed, so yelling would have made it worse. I did make a few comments, which were unnecessary. He needed my help, he asked nicely and it WAS NOT a big deal. Why can I not see beyond myself?

Last learning session of day 1!

Bedtime. Sick kids=lots of naps, which often makes bedtime difficult. We made it, we survived, but I did want to yell a few times.

Reflections:

1. I did have a good day at school, with very few bad things and no awful things happening.

2. I came home to a house of children who wanted snuggles and "nuggles" and who are on their way to feeling better.

3. I have an amazing husband who serves his family SO WELL!

4. The toilet is working, we have a clean bathroom, and nothing was ruined!

5. My laundry is all caught up, for the most part. (As well as can be expected for a cloth diapering family of 6)

6. My kids ate a healthy dinner, we had wonderful family time, everyone is getting more healthy, we have our needs take care of...I have a TON to be thankful for and very little to complain about.

The big picture shows me I have no reason to resort to yelling. Yelling is for emergencies, of which ,we had none today.

I am working on becoming more gentle and finding joy.

Thank the Lord for GRACE!

Paint and a 2 year old helper!

Just 12 hours before this event, I had finally "started" my blog.  I hadn't even written one blog post yet, and I was learning through mistakes already!  My wonderful husband was going to do some painting.  After a wonderful trip to Menards, my 2 year old son came in beaming as he "helped" his dad bring the paint into the house.  He decided that he should try to lift it and  hand it to me.  I quickly realized that it was way too heavy for him and helped him lift it onto the counter.  He was so happy it was on the counter, I didn't think anything of it.  Then SPLAT!  I had turned my back as I was holding my10 week old.  Before I could even get turned around, I heard a scream of a cry.  My thoughts raced with the fear of it landing on my 2 year old! I turned around to see paint ALL OVER the kitchen floor, the cabinets and dishwasher, and none on my son!  I quickly grabbed him to take him to the other room to check him out.  Thankfully, the paint can had not touched him and the only reason he was crying was because there was a huge mess.  He kept saying "mess, big miss" (all through tears of course).  He waited patiently at the door--still crying--as my husband and I cleaned it up.  I normally would have been very upset about the mess and would have been frustrated all day about it!  However, I was very humbled and grateful for the grace that was allowed for my son to have no injuries.  I was also humbled by a 2 year old's patience in such a frustrating situation!

Thankful today!